You may think Cosplay is merely a hobby, an act of escapism that flees ones reality into that of the unknown. For Enhiar ; Arabic for ‘Collapse’ it is a life line. This, Saudi based artist and designer, sees this art form as a savior, a tourniquet, a passion that endures pain. She is not here to inspire you, this is not another cliché article where I tell you how she bypassed her disability and emerged as a creative. She is doing it regardless of disability. This interview was conducted through text messages, and so I could not put a voice to this young woman but I imagine it to be low, fierce but wounded, a combination that forbids you to turn away. I could not turn away.
On an early Instagram post, Enhiar confessed to this, “I couldn’t find many pictures of myself in costume, I did not care to take any. But this year I’ll be doing that. I don’t think I’ll be a very good Cosplayer, but it’s become a journey of finding myself through costume, and I’m enjoying that very much.”
Later, I found myself scrolling through a myriad of her in different presentations of these characters, all in masks. When my knowledge of photography was that of a good filter, E insisted that nothing beats the magic of a photoshopped image, nothing is like the perfecting of a picture on a screen, no filter could compare to that precision. I concluded, that regardless of her ever-inching disease, an illness that would one day render her completely immobile, she would always thrive on the act of dressing as her heroes in the best of ways.
There is so much I could include here, but I would rather concentrate on her creative ventures. I understood while I was conversing with E that she had made peace with her fate, and unlike any 19 year old I knew, was worldly beyond her years. “What is death? But a mask that would eventually sweep humanity, one at a time?” Yes, a bleak thought but it certainly gives this young woman some clarity. That time is what matters. And while some would waste away that time, E has made it a prerogative to be in the know of what inspires her.
Initially, a lurker of this niche activity, it took her five years to finally join in. As a Cosplayer she first made her presence known in King Saud’s University. An event that had many like minded creatives come together. She was spell bound by this new bold world she had walked into, and though some big named Cosplayers might consider a University event amateurish, it was the world for E.
But how does one dress oneself when it is pain to move? I wondered that very thing, but E does not mind the pain. She does not mind tracking down the costume, or have a family member on hand to assist with the alterations. Art is pain, is it not? What is pain compared to a costume of her favorite hero? In this case, the brooding Dazai Osamu from Bungou Stray Dogs sheds some wisdom“Anything I would never want to lose is always lost, it is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it. There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering.” A jarring quote, and I realized then that ultimately the woman I held in my smart phone was a sensitive artist whom identified with emotionally charged characters.
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“I do believe that time is something we take for granted. It isn’t just due to my illness that I act. There are many with disabilities that have chosen to go back into that void of that nothingness. I would like to remind the rest of us, that time is what defines life. We should all live to the best of our ability”
But she was more than that. She was fierce too. It has been a while since I’ve met someone who did not care for anyone’s opinion of her. She told me, in written paragraphs what she wanted of this world. What kinds of characters she wished to make, but somehow eluded her due to her challenged physique. But she still managed to flourish in a purple wig and an elaborate mask. I know very few who knew of their wants, and at a young age of advertised confusion; she struck me as one to watch. When I questioned this assuredness in her, she replied instantly. “I do believe that time is something we take for granted. It isn’t just due to my illness that I act. There are many with disabilities that have chosen to go back into that void of that nothingness. I would like to remind the rest of us, that time is what defines life. We should all live to the best of our ability” With this, E has opened another clandestine route into her life. Perhaps Cosplay was a voyage into our side of the coin, that colorful people could mean those in wheelchairs too. I wanted more from E, but she seemed satisfied with leaving me to ponder the following:
“Live, whatever the life you’re given, live it fully, extremely, don’t let a moment pass you by but don’t forget the ‘other’. Live, but be aware of those who pant behind you in an effort to catch up. Remind them, that this is not a race, nor a competition but a search, a puzzle of meaning. Find your meaning whatever it might be, and you’ll be unstoppable after that.”
The Team
- Cosplayer: Enhiar
- Photographer: Ibrahim Ansari
- Visual Effects: Adrijana Cernic
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